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The current period signifies a full decade since the term “disappearing” hit the common lexicon. Back then, the notion that someone could instantly end all contact with a romantic interest without any notice seemed like the height of disrespect. We were so innocent. In the decade since, seeking a significant other has only become more confounding – an commonly unsuccessful exercise in embarrassment that is increasingly shaped by social media jargon.

Gen Z, a generation who came of age during a social isolation epidemic, a masculinity crisis, and a widespread assault on the freedoms of females and the LGBTQ+ community, faces a far messier terrain than their millennial forerunners could ever fathom. And so their dating glossary has grown more elaborate and more deranged, with phrases like “Shrekking” and “monkey branching” testing the boundaries of your sanity.

The following list is a extensive guide to the words this generation is using to discuss romance, intimacy and the search of both. To echo one of the year’s most viral memes, by the conclusion of this glossary you’ll long to get back to simpler times – because wherever that is, it lacks “ideological catfishing”.

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The Letter A

Realness – In the view of gen Z, dating’s ultimate goal is presenting as your real, unfiltered self. Good luck with that!

B

Bird theory – A online phenomenon loosely based on a test developed by relationship scientists, in which you mention something minor – for example, “A bird flew by earlier” – and pay attention to whether your date's response is inquisitive or dismissive. If they show no desire to hear more about the bird, you two are not compatible.

Independent partner – Zoomers' rebuttal to the “quirky fantasy girl” trope of the early 2000s – but instead of having baby bangs, liking indie music and avoiding commitment, the mysterious partner prioritizes herself while oozing enigma and independence. (She may yet have baby bangs.)

The Letter C

Seat theory – This means seeking out someone who supports you without being asked. If you walked into a room, they would fetch a chair for you to sit down.

Errand romance – A date where two people bond while handling tasks, such as pet care or food shopping. In other words, how cash-strapped people in their 20s do affordable romance in a post-cheap-date world.

Emotional spiral – Having a breakdown when you feel swamped by life. You can spiral over a infatuation or breakup, dumping all of your unreciprocated feelings.

D

Dink – Two incomes, no children. Once a marker of 80s young urban professional excess, it describes pairs who choose against having children to focus on their own happiness. Or because they are unable to afford to become parents.

The Letter E

Vulnerable signaling – The opposite of acting aloof: utilizing communication, honesty and vulnerability.

The Letter F

Flags

• Danger signals – Behavioral habits indicating a prospective partner is not right. For instance calling their exes crazy, poor gratuity habits, a fondness for controversial director films, a nascent DJ career …
• Green flags – These actions confirm your decision to pursue a partner. Examples include checking in to make sure you got home safely after a date, minimal phone use, having a bed frame …
• Neutral quirks – These typically describe niche, largely harmless quirks. Such as being an keen ornithologist, still keeping a biro in their wallet, paying the rent in physical money …

Niche bonding – When you meet someone who’s just as obsessive about films about the second world war or DVD collecting or art or anything it may be, as you. Or, conversely, finding someone who hates the same things or people that you do (nothing builds intimacy faster than sharing a nemesis).

The Letter G

Geese – A musical group a typical Zoomer guy likes.

Zombie-ing – Someone who reappears into your life after a length of disappearing.

Loyal boyfriend – Someone who is affable, eager to please and devoted. The uncommon boyfriend who is beloved by all of his significant other's friends, and a mysterious partner's foil.

Prolonged session enthusiasts – A primarily online subculture of men so preoccupied with self-pleasure that they attempt marathon sessions, purposefully postponing orgasm so they can go on as long as possible.

H

Gloomy heterosexuality – A mindset describing many women’s increasing cynicism toward heterosexual relationships. It will come as little surprise to anyone who read the previous entry.

Traditional ideal woman – An archetype championed by manosphere figures: a woman who is attractive, nurturing and contentedly domestic, who seemingly has no aspirations of her own aside from pleasing her male partner. Perhaps now you’re beginning to grasp the whole “heterofatalism” thing better?

The Letter I

Ick factors – Arbitrary and often mundane turnoffs that instantly shut down any sense of interest.

“If he wanted to, he would" – Something to remember after you watch someone else get an incredibly sweet gesture.

The Letter J

Jobs – These have not been this crucial in the dating scene since the greed-is-good era. For some women, a “man in finance” is the ideal catch: a fleece-vest-wearing, conservative-leaning guy who will be a provider (there’s a popular TikTok audio on the topic). Meanwhile the anti-capitalist crowd opt for partners in fields they believe are being staffed by the more caring among us: healthcare workers, educators or therapists.

K

Locking lips – This year, scientists learned that the kiss has been around for 16 million years. But the era of kissing may be limited since some gen Z prefer fewer sex scenes in movies, as they are having less sex themselves and do not find onscreen intimacy realistic.

Kittenfishing – Mild deception. Or, not exactly lying about who you are, but maybe using older (better) photos of yourself on a online profile, or making your job sound more important than it is. Also known as {